Sorry, But I’m Throwing Away Your Business Card

Hey, there’s a business card on my desk… better follow up on it.

Hmmm, should I address you as Sir or Ma’am?

I see from the card that your name is Pat Smith. But is that Patricia or Patrick? I’m afraid I don’t know how to ask for you, and I’d really hate to look foolish and ask for “Ms.” Pat Smith if it’s supposed to be “Mr.” Pat Smith… and I don’t see any kind of photo on your business card, which would help.

Bet you expected me to remember you, didn’t you? I know, I know, my memory isn’t what it used to be.

But look, I got this card yesterday. I think; don’t know for sure, I was busy. I do remember that it was with a pile of other business cards on my desk.

You see, I forgot it was my boss’s birthday, so I had to go get her cake, and I’m afraid I didn’t have time to file your business card when I got back to the office. I’m sure it was important, which is why I might just send you an email…

Except I’m not sure if I got your email address right. I can’t quite make it out.

Did you print these business cards yourself? Surely no professional printer would allow you to cram all that text onto one single card, especially that line where you capitalized something in a script font. Maybe if I put my glasses on… nope. Now where are those magnifying glasses when you need them?

And is that a period on your card, or some kind of dirt or smudge? Well, it brushed off, guess it was a poppy seed or something.

Anyway, it doesn’t look as if you had your business card in a case — I know how easy it is to just tuck a few cards into your purse, but I’ll bet this one was in there a while. It’s kind of crumpled along the edges, too.

And now that I come to think of it, I’m not really sure what you do, either. You’re a consultant, right? That’s what the title says, right after your name. What kind of consultant?

Sorry if I appear dense. I see your company name is “Midwest Consulting Group” but I’m afraid that doesn’t jog my memory a bit. There’s no slogan, no tagline, no logo, nothing that would give me a clue as to what your company actually does or what line of work you’re in. Our company deals with lots of different vendors and different industries — I couldn’t begin to guess which one you might be affiliated with.

I really don’t want to ignore you, or lose your business (if you were a potential customer.) I have this nagging feeling that your business card is important — hey, maybe you wrote something on the back! Let me turn it over.

Darn. Just a blank back.

Well, let’s sum this up. I don’t remember who you are or what you do. I’m not sure if I have your contact information right since I can’t read it, and I don’t even remember if you’re a man or a woman.

Sorry, whoever you are, but I’m throwing YOUR business card away!