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Humor: Some New Business Jargon

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BWA HA HA HA!Speaking of business jargon, here are some new words you might not be familiar with:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s work place

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (also called APE DYNAMICS)

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake

And just a couple of IT-related words:

ID10T ERROR: A technical-sounding term used when a computer problem was caused by the idiot using the computer.

PEBKAC: “Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair.” Same as ID10T Error.

Via here.

Humor: Some New Business Jargon by
Authored by: Erik Even