Humor: The Worst Interview Questions, and How to Answer Them

There are two reasons a recruiter will ask you a dumb, inappropriate or illegal interview question. One: he or she is “testing” you, by playing silly games. Two: he or she is incompetent.

You don’t want to work for or with this person.

But in this economy, you may not have the luxury to be choosy. Here’s how I would answer some of these dumb questions:

“Have you ever brought a lawsuit against an employer?” “Yes. I sued the recruiter at my previous job, who asked me questions about things you’re not allowed to consider when hiring.”

“Do you ever abuse alcohol or drugs?” “Why? Are you holding?” or “I wouldn’t call it ‘abuse.'”

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” “Running this department, and firing you.”

“Have you ever stolen from an employer?” “No way! My last employer may be in prison, but he has ‘associates’ all over New Jersey!”

“How would other people describe you?” “A tall white male between 30 and 40 years of age, fleeing the scene to the southeast in a leather jacket and bluejeans.”

“Are you religious?” “Yeah, did I mention I sued my last employer for asking me illegal questions?” or “Yes! Soon the Great Old Ones will descend, and mighty Cthulhu will rise from lost R’lyeh to destroy the world! Yog-Sothoth knows the gate! Yog-Sothoth is the gate!”

Have any more bad interview questions? Let us know in the comments!