PETA To Set Off “Hot” Fires Within Baltimore Fire Department Precincts

A Baltimore City Councilman, William Pete Welch has suggested leasing out the sides of the city’s fleet of fire trucks, as advertising space, to help lessen the huge debt that the city is currently facing. It is estimated that the city has budget shortfall of $48 million.

The budget shortfall is so severe, that the city council is actually considering closing three of the city’s fifty-five fire-stations and laying-off some of the fire-department’s workers.

Since this would mean a traditional shift from the universally accepted and recognised red hue, he reasoned, “These are out of the box times and you need out of the box approaches in order to create additional revenue.”

However, not all are in agreement with Welch’s proposal. Michael B. Campbell, president of the Baltimore Fire Officers Association Local 964 said, “I don’t think a fire truck should look like a NASCAR vehicle.” On the other hand, if the private sector wants to talk about supporting the city’s fire-fighters, I’m willing to listen.”

Rick Hoffman, president of Baltimore Fire Fighters Local 734, when pressed for his opinion, said that he did not want to knock it down without debate, but added, “I don’t want it to look like a damn ice cream truck.”

“Anything that brings revenues and protects public safety is worth considering,” Welch said. “We need to be creative.”

Amongst the first companies to respond to his plea, PETA, the animal rights group responded with amazing alacrity. In a press release, PETA wrote “In light of the recent bill you proposed that would allow advertisements to be placed on the city’s fire engines to ease financial trouble, we would like to be the first to offer you a revenue-raising ad that will get hearts racing while preventing heart attacks.”

PETA Manager Lindsay Rait said, “PETA is happy to help Baltimore’s fire departments from going up in smoke. “Our Vegans Are Hot” fire truck wouldn’t just fight fires—it would also encourage Baltimore residents to rescue their own health while helping animals by dumping artery-clogging meat, eggs, and dairy products.”

The proposed “Vegans Are Hot” ad shows a sexy woman wearing a bikini, a shade too small for her buxom figure, showing off her vegan physique.

Ashley Byre, PETA’s campaign manager, said that if the people went vegan, after seeing the ads, the fire department would have to respond to less emergency calls as people won’t be so fat, disease-ridden and heart-attack prone.” “Our ad will help your city keep all of its fire departments up and running while passing along a lifesaving message: By going vegan, Baltimore residents can save animals, protect their health, and help themselves become “hot stuff”!” she concluded.

However, PETA has a history of controversial ads that mostly show skimpily clad models and such an agreement would surely generate a lot of heat, both literally and visually. The ads could set off some of its own fires, that the Baltimore fire department will be hard put to extinguish.