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Jobs You Don’t Want…

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In this topsy turvy economy, lots of Americans are looking for work.  No matter how bad things may seem at times, there are still some jobs you just don’t want.

Take for instance this Craigslist post from a lawyer in Chicago:

Loop law firm looking to hire am energetic woman for their open secretary/legal assistant position. Duties will include general secretarial work, some paralegal work and additional duties for two lawyers in the firm. No experience required, training will be provided. Generous annual salary and benefits will be provided, including medical, dental, life, disability, 401(k) etc. If interested, please send current resume and a few pictures along with a description of your physical features, including measurements. We look forward to meeting you.

Other than the next to last line, it all sounds pretty routine until the follow up letter arrives, containing the following:

As this is posted in the “adult gigs” section, in addition to the legal work, you would be required to have sexual interaction with me and my partner, sometimes together sometimes separate. This part of the job would require sexy dressing and flirtatious interaction with me and my partner, as well as sexual interaction. You will have to be comfortable doing this with us.

Lastly, we’ve actually hired a couple of girls in the past for this position. But they have not been able to handle the sexual aspect of the job later. We have to be sure you’re comfortable with that aspect, because I don’t want you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. So since that time, we’ve decided that as part of the interview process you’ll be required to perform for us sexually (i didn’t do this before with the other girls i hired, now i think i have to because they couldn’t handle it). Because that aspect is an integral part of the job, I think it’s necessary to see if you can do that, because it’ll predict future behavior of you being able to handle it when you have the job.

Any self respecting job seeker would immediately steer clear of this one.  If a potential boss can’t be bothered to capitalize the pronoun “i”, you can hardly expect them to pay attention to other important details, like salary and benefits.

For a listing of jobs you do want, check out the listings at

Jobs You Don't Want... by
Authored by: joshua