How to Master Your Situation When Laid Off

The ancient Greeks believed there were at least two classes of people: masters and slaves. Biologically, we no longer believe in this; as Americans we believe all men are created equal. We believe that everybody starts out politically free, that there are no slaves. Nevertheless, we can still agree with the Greeks that we can choose to be one of two persons: a slave who cringes, or a master who triumphs. What is the difference? The difference is courage, the courage to try again and again, no matter how many times defeated, the courage to smile in the mirror even when we’ve been laid off, when we’ve lost the job. And its all a matter of habit, a habit you can start, now, for the first time, if you’ve avoided it for the first time.

After all, getting laid off, depressing as it is, gives us the wonderful opportunity to rebound, to decide who we are and what we want to do next. Great mean seek out opportunities, while lesser men wait for them to fall into their lap.

How to have this attitude, this courage? How to encourage yourself? Maybe you’ve fallen into a slump since you’ve lost your job. In the morning, the voice in your head says, “just keep sleeping. You know soon as you wake up, the depression will return. You will not want to eat breakfast, you will waste your day feeling sorry for yourself.” That is the voice to void. You need to listen to the voice that says, “Get up! Even if you don’t feel like it, you will be happier that you did so. Get up and try, do your goals, and then feel good that you did them, whether you succeed or not.”

When we introduce a new habit, the old habits will try to shout it down. They will quite reasonably try to talk you out of it, of being that bold person who tries even when greatly discouraged. The old voices can be listened to, but then they must be corrected. They are only habits after all, and they are interested in persisting, in keeping you that way that you are.

But as a mature adult, we are not called to stay the same all day every day. We are called to mature, to change and grow and do better, not when things are easy and the sun shines for us, but when the storms settle in.

At such times it seems no friend can cheer us up. We seek out confirmations from friends and family, but even when they encourage us, it falls flat. Something must come from within, a spark from our centermost, an inner spark that starts the blaze. We must take stock of small successes, and really believe in them, to celebrate even petty gains, though others may laugh at us, because every fire begins as kindling. What matters is we fan the flame and throw more fuel on it. “Fake it till you make it,” is useful advice. Though you might feel in your heart, “so what, I did this small thing. Others do this all the time,” nevertheless, respond to it, saying, “Yes, but I couldn’t do this before, and now I can. This is the start of a new way for me.”

Having gained that capacity, that determinism, to have built the habit of courage and daring, we can build ourselves up and get the job we want. The voices of discouragement won’t matter any more, and we can laugh at them. As the habit becomes powerful, we will feel exhilarated when challenged, and not afraid; we will have become masters, not slaves. Success is sure for such a person.

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